"Just think positive!" It’s a phrase most of us have heard—or even said—when trying to help someone feel better. But, while this saying has good intentions, it can often leave someone struggling with anxiety, depression, or overwhelming stress feeling misunderstood or even dismissed. These challenges run deep, often involving thoughts and feelings that can’t simply be shifted with a quick change in perspective.

If you’re looking to support someone going through a tough time, including someone dealing with anxiety, depression, or a dark life transition, here are five meaningful ways to show you genuinely care. These responses go beyond the clichés, focusing on creating a supportive and validating space without falling back on quick-fix advice.

1. Listen First, Fix Later

When someone shares their struggles, they’re usually not looking for solutions right away; they just want to feel heard. Instead of saying, “Just think positive,” try active listening. This means giving your full attention, being present, and just letting them talk. It’s amazing how much relief someone can feel simply by having someone truly listen. Active listening shows that their feelings matter and that they’re not alone in facing what they’re going through.

Try saying: “I’m here for you and want to hear what’s going on.”

This lets them know that you’re open to listening without judgment, which can feel incredibly comforting. When someone feels that you’re genuinely present and receptive, it helps to build trust and opens up space for them to share more openly, which is often exactly what they need to feel supported.

2. Acknowledge What They’re Feeling

Things like anxiety can feel overwhelming and isolating, and hearing phrases that brush off those feelings can make someone feel even more alone or misunderstood. Instead, try to show that you genuinely recognize what they’re going through. Validation doesn’t mean you’re encouraging their negative thoughts; it just means acknowledging that their emotions are real and valid. This simple act of empathy helps create a safe space where they can express themselves openly without fear of judgment.

Try saying: “That sounds really hard. I can see why you’d feel this way.”

This small acknowledgment can go a long way in helping them feel understood and accepted. It communicates that you’re on their side, creating trust and openness, and it often allows them to feel more comfortable sharing what they’re truly feeling. Letting them know it’s okay to feel however they feel reinforces that they don’t need to “fix” their emotions or put on a brave face, and that in itself can provide tremendous relief.

3. Offer to Help in Practical Ways

Sometimes, someone dealing with depression, stress, or anxiety might feel overwhelmed by even the simplest daily tasks. The thought of tackling chores, appointments, or self-care can feel like an enormous weight, adding to their feelings of helplessness or exhaustion. Instead of suggesting they “just keep going” or “push through it,” offer a helping hand. This could be anything from assisting with errands or meal prep to simply being present as they sort through options for therapy or support groups if they’re open to it. Your willingness to help with practical steps can make a world of difference.

Try saying: “Is there anything I can help you with? We can look at resources together if you’d like.”

This approach shows that you’re genuinely there for them, ready to offer real, actionable support without judgment or expectations. Offering specific help sends a message that they’re not alone and that you’re in it with them, which can ease their mental load and help them feel cared for. This tangible support often opens the door for them to take steps forward when they’re ready, knowing they don’t have to face everything by themselves.

4. Suggest Professional Support Gently

If someone is facing depression, anxiety, or total overwhelm, one of the best ways to support them can be gently encouraging them to reach out to a professional. Therapy can provide practical tools and tailored strategies for dealing with anxiety, depression, or other struggles—something friends and family may not be able to offer fully.

Try saying: “Talking to someone who really gets this stuff can make a huge difference. Have you thought about connecting with a therapist?”

Reassure them that getting professional help is completely okay. At RAFT Counseling, we’re here for anyone in Parker, CO, and beyond, with compassionate support tailored to each person’s needs.

5. Remind Them of Their Strengths

Sometimes, instead of telling someone to “think positive,” what they really need is a gentle reminder of their own resilience and the strengths they’ve shown in tough times before. Highlighting something specific you admire—whether it’s their ability to keep going despite challenges, their compassion for others, or their determination—can offer meaningful encouragement without downplaying their current struggles. This kind of support reminds them of their inner strength, helping them feel seen and appreciated for who they are, not just what they’re going through.

Try saying: “I really admire how you’ve handled so much. You can be strong and still have rough days".

This approach lets them know you’re on their side, genuinely seeing both their struggles and their strengths. It reinforces that you believe in their ability to get through hard times, while also giving them permission to feel vulnerable. By focusing on their resilience, you’re encouraging them to reconnect with the parts of themselves that have helped them overcome challenges before, making them feel supported and empowered at the same time.

Real Support Means Connecting, Not Correcting

When someone is dealing with depression, anxiety, or feelings of overwhelm, it’s crucial to go beyond clichés and focus on responses that feel supportive and validating. Remember, the goal is to help them feel seen and supported, not to brush away their struggles.

At RAFT Counseling, we understand how valuable it is to have a safe space where clients can share what they’re going through. If you or someone you know is seeking counseling for anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concern, reach out to us. We’re here to support the Parker, CO community with genuine care and professional expertise, meeting each person where they’re at in their journey.