Why ‘You Just Need to Get Out More’ Isn’t as Helpful as It Sounds

When someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, depression, or even just low energy, it’s natural to want to help. You may see them withdrawing or isolating and think that encouraging them to “just get out more” — take a walk, see friends, or go to an event — could lift their spirits. After all, fresh air, activity, and connection can help some people. But here’s the thing: while well-intentioned, this phrase often does more harm than good.

At RAFT Counseling in Parker, CO, we hear from many clients who’ve been on the receiving end of this advice. For them, it doesn’t come across as supportive or motivating. Instead, it can feel dismissive, invalidating, or even overwhelming.

Here’s why:

1. It Minimizes Their Experience
   Mental health challenges like depression and anxiety aren’t about being lazy or “not trying hard enough.” Telling someone to “get out more” can imply that their struggles are simple to fix — when in reality, they’re dealing with deep and complex emotions. This can make them feel unheard, as if you’re brushing off what they’re going through.
2. It Overlooks How Exhausting Mental Health Issues Can Be
   For someone struggling with anxiety or depression, everyday tasks can feel monumental. Simple things like showering, cooking, or leaving the house may take immense effort. Suggesting they “just get out” can feel like asking them to climb a mountain without acknowledging the energy they’ve already used just to get through the day.
3. It Can Add Guilt or Shame
   People who are struggling already know they’re withdrawing or isolating. They’re often hard on themselves for not being more active, productive, or social. Hearing that they “just need to get out more” may make them feel worse — ashamed for not doing enough or guilty for disappointing others.
4. It Can Feel Oversimplified and Unhelpful
   While socializing or spending time outdoors can be healing for some, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. Mental health struggles are nuanced, and suggesting a quick fix can feel invalidating. It misses the opportunity to really connect with them and understand what’s going on beneath the surface.
5. It Can Add Pressure Instead of Relief
   For someone dealing with anxiety, the thought of “getting out” might actually feel scary or overwhelming. They may worry about crowds, social interactions, or expectations from others. When they hear this advice, it can feel like added pressure, making it even harder to take the next step toward healing.

Supportive Alternatives to Help Someone Struggling with Depression

When someone you care about is battling depression, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed, the way you respond can make a world of difference. Instead of offering advice that may feel dismissive, choosing words that validate their experience and show genuine care can help them feel seen and supported.

At RAFT Counseling in Parker, CO, we know that small shifts in communication can strengthen relationships, build trust, and encourage loved ones to open up. Thoughtful, compassionate words create a safe space for connection and healing, which can be especially meaningful for someone struggling with their mental health.

Here are 5 supportive alternatives to say instead of “You just need to get out more.” These phrases show empathy, honor their feelings, and invite real support.

1. “I’m here for you — what do you need right now?”
   This simple question invites them to express what would be most helpful in the moment. It shows you’re there to listen and support them without judgment.

2. “It’s okay to feel this way. You’re not alone.”
   Validating their emotions can be incredibly comforting. It lets them know their struggles are real, and they don’t have to carry them alone.

3. “Would you like some company, or is there something specific I can do to help?”
   Offering your presence without pressure creates a safe space. Whether they need a quiet companion or practical help, this lets them know you’re willing to meet them where they are.

4. “That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk about it?”
   Acknowledging their struggle shows empathy and opens the door for them to share, if they’re ready. Sometimes, simply being heard can ease their burden.

5. “I know this feels overwhelming — have you thought about talking to a therapist?”
   Gently suggesting professional support can empower them to take the next step toward healing. Therapy offers a judgment-free space to address their struggles and find real relief.

At RAFT Counseling in Parker, CO, we see how small shifts in words and actions can make a big impact. When you lead with compassion and understanding, you create an environment where healing and connection can begin.

Ready for Real Support and Understanding?

If you’ve been on the receiving end of “You just need to get out more” and it left you feeling unseen or invalidated, you’re not alone. And if you’ve said this to someone you care about, know that your intentions came from a place of wanting to help. At RAFT Counseling in Parker, CO, we offer a safe, compassionate space for anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, or feeling stuck. Whether you’re navigating your own challenges or looking for ways to better support a loved one, we’re here to help.

You don’t have to face this alone — real, lasting change is possible.
Schedule an appointment today and take the first step toward healing, connection, and feeling like yourself again.