Neurodivergence (Part 2): Adults

In this second part of the Neurodivergence series we will be reviewing how the differences in information processing affects lifestyles and experiences of neurodivergent adults. While much of the research and development of neurodivergence (ND) has historically been centered around children, the reality is that many people do not get diagnosed as a child or at all. Lack of acknowledgement and accommodation of needs often leads to daily struggles with the mental, physical, and emotional challenges that accompany the increased stressors of adulthood. The hope for this post is to review the basics of neurodivergence as a whole, discuss common barriers for neurodivergent adults and provide encouragement towards seeking out support in the ways you or a loved one needs based on the unique life experiences associated with adult neurodivergence.

Adult versus Childhood Neurodivergence 

For review, neurodivergence (ND) is incredibly complex and unique to each individual. Neurodivergence is an umbrella term that includes many different diagnoses such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and more. There are often co-occurring disorders including physical health challenges such as Ehlers-Danlose syndrome, chronic pain, and gastrointestinal problems as well as mental health challenges such as increased incidence of suicidality, depression, anxiety, eating/feeding disorders, substance use issues, and trauma.

Neurodivergent adults can find themselves facing isolation, misunderstanding, and chronic invalidation of their experiences just like ND children. Healthcare disparities are ever present with ND adults because of the complex interactions between symptoms, co-occurring disorders, and the scarcity of professionals who are able to provide holistic care. Currently, there is a lack of standardized interventions that consider the nuance of neurodivergence, shifting the responsibility to the patient to develop a holistic care approach by connecting with and communicating between specialists to address each need individually. As a result, ND adults often face misdiagnosis and delays in appropriate care in much the same way as children.

Common Hurdles Neurodivergent Adults Face

Late Diagnosis

If one word could define neurodivergence it would be complex. Being diagnosed later in life is an experience that exemplifies this particularly well. Memories often begin to flood in during the weeks and months after diagnosis in adulthood like a kaleidoscope of images that you see in a completely different way. While things may make more sense and you may feel validated; it is not always or only a positive experience. Becoming aware of an aspect of yourself that had been unknown or unacknowledged for much of your life can spiral into grief, shame, and anger. We can be upset that we missed signs and be ashamed of the choices we made or situations we fell into. We can be angry with parents, caregivers, teachers, or friends; why did they not notice these things and try to help? Why didn’t I? We can grieve “lost time” or ruminate on the things we could have achieved if we had the right accommodations and support.

All of these feelings are valid, requiring time to process and accept. Acceptance does not mean we have to be okay with how our lives played out before but rather that we seek peace with the fact that the past will be what it is and our future can now be directed with this new knowledge and awareness of ourselves. Every person moves through these phases in their own way and in their own time. Again, neurodivergence is complex. Rarely do we have the time, space, and energy to know ourselves so well that we can communicate and advocate for our needs in every situation. We simply cannot know what we do not know and you could not have known what you did not know. All we can do is move forward, hopeful of the steps we can now take towards the kind of environment and lifestyle that will suit us better.

Masking

This term is used to describe how ND individuals will often spend an immense amount of mental, emotional, and physical energy to meet the expectations of “societal norms”. This can include disregarding the ways much of life induces discomfort such as maintaining eye contact, deciphering unspoken expectations, or dealing with sensory intrusions. So too can this include avoiding or disregarding the impact of co-occurring symptoms of physical health challenges because of the difficulty with communicating needs effectively or feeling burdensome to others. All of these things pile together into a constant discomfort level that becomes the norm for many ND people. Eventually, it progresses to overwhelm and an unsustainable routine leading to what we know as burnout.

Burnout

Burnout is a common theme seen in ND adults due to the increased energy required to maintain both an internally and externally expected level of functioning. To clarify, burnout is classified as an occupationally based condition with the presentation including extreme exhaustion, alienation, reduced performance, and cynicism. While developed from an occupational standpoint, it is understood to affect mood and functioning in all areas of life. Interestingly, many adults become aware of their own neurodivergence as a result of burnout. This is because many ND adults often seek medical services related to secondary (often physical) symptoms that are unable to be disregarded in a burnt out state. Unfortunately, the remedy to burnout is not a vacation or retail therapy - as nice as that would be. Burnout is a special kind of fatigue that requires dedicated lifestyle changes to avoid recurrence. It is necessary to be especially mindful of what led to the burnout, to pull apart the ways in which specific needs were not met. With this information you can then develop a plan to introduce new supports and accommodations that reduce the daily level of strain on the mind and body.

Accommodations

People are complex, and complexity is a good thing. Accommodations will look different to each ND person. There are both subtle and overt changes you can make to achieve more sustainable functioning and comfort in your day to day life. The following will provide a high level overview of the more general areas that are considered accommodations. It may be useful to take these suggestions and see if there are adjustments or more specific supports within these categories that creatively address your specific needs.

Sensory

Sensory challenges are a common complaint among neurodivergent individuals. Whether it be internal or external, there are many options to ease discomfort. For example, there are companies who have created clear in-ear audio suppression buds that can dampen the decibel level in any environment without having to buy noise cancelling headphones. Having the right clothing to avoid texture difficulties or the appropriate layering to avoid temperature dysregulations can greatly improve focus and productivity both at work and home. Realistically the advice around sensory challenges will be more individualized than the other areas simply because of the variance in experience. Being conscientious about what induces discomfort and creative about what ways you can avoid it is a great way to increase your sense of self confidence and agency within your environment.

Communication

Communication can be particularly challenging when it comes to completing tasks both at home and work. Having trusted friends/co-workers that can support you by being more direct with their intentions/needs or employers who can offer alternative styles such as written or recorded communications can help reduce the strain of interpretation and overall effort to interact with family, friends, and co-workers.

Medical

Clinicians that are able to provide flexible scheduling as well as various communication options such as email or phone calls can be particularly useful for attaining a consistent healthcare routine. As mentioned earlier the commonality of co-occurring disorders means connection with understanding medical providers is going to significantly improve health outcomes across the lifespan as well as reduce the likelihood for burnout by supporting the creation of a tailored lifestyle for your individual presentation.

Schedule

Due to the commonality of co-occurring physical complications as well as the increased energy output associated with masking, asking for and reviewing routines at home and work is imperative to avoid unnecessary strain. You can discuss options that allow for more time to decompress from the day or ways to lower time spent in overstimulating environments. Having a supportive schedule will decrease the intensity and frequency of fatigue and overwhelm.

Navigating Adult Neurodivergence

While there are still many ways our communities can be developed to better adapt options for a neurodivergent lifestyle, it all starts with awareness. Taking the time to reflect on personal experiences and ways excess strain persists in your life illuminates the search for a more sustainable lifestyle. Our unique ways of being in the world are complex and that is a good thing. By increasing our own awareness of the topic and being curiously creative about support, we find a vibrant world of possibilities and ways to thrive regardless of how we process the world around us. 

At RAFT Counseling, inclusivity and supportive care for everyone is paramount. We would love to provide support to you or a loved one in understanding personal neurodivergent experiences better and gaining the resources to confidently navigate the world regardless of neurotype. Simply visit our website or contact us to get connected with a counselor who can support you on your journey.