Untangling the Lies of Unknown Number: A Therapist’s Take on Munchausen’s and Recovery

Few documentaries are as shocking and unforgettable as "Unknown Number" on Netflix. It exposes the real-life case of a mother who preyed on her own daughter through a barrage of manipulative text messages—pressuring her to commit suicide and even describing sexual acts involving her daughter’s boyfriend. What begins as a devastating account of betrayal and abuse becomes a chilling exploration of how Munchausen’s and other psychological disorders can surface in the digital age, turning private conversations into weapons of control and harm.

This isn’t just a story of sensational harm - it’s also an invitation to understand. A therapist’s perspective helps uncover how Munchausen’s plays out in digital spaces, what pathways to recovery can look like, and how families and communities can respond with both accountability and compassion. Harm must never be excused, but bringing awareness, accurate information, and support to those affected is critical.

Reference to Netflix Documentary - Unknown Number: The High School Catfish

If you’ve watched Netflix’s "Unknown Number: The High School Catfish," you probably walked away with more questions than answers. Told through real interviews, text exchanges, and recordings, the documentary peels back the layers of a high school scandal built around a hidden online identity. It’s raw, unsettling, and unflinchingly honest. Watching these lives unravel under the weight of deception leaves a lasting impression—and also offers a powerful lens on how mental health struggles like Munchausen’s can ripple outward, distorting relationships, families, and communities.

How "Unknown Number" Portrays Modern Munchausen's

Unknown Number" makes clear how the internet has rewritten the rules of trust, friendship, and support. Where Munchausen’s once played out in private spaces—within families, hospitals, or small circles—this case shows how digital access amplifies the reach. Texts, group chats, and social feeds turn what might have stayed hidden into a sprawling web of manipulation. The victim’s world expands, but so does the damage, with ripple effects that touch far beyond the original relationship. What makes "Unknown Number" so gripping is the way it’s told:

• The actual voices and text messages pull you straight into the deception.
• The emotional fallout is given as much weight as the facts themselves.
• Families and friends speak candidly about their confusion, heartbreak, and disbelief.
• The film doesn't soften the harsh reality of what happened.

The Documentary’s Impact: Stirred Emotions and Hard Questions

Watching the events in "Unknown Number" unfold stirs up powerful emotions—anger, sadness, disbelief. You see both teens and adults doing their best to uncover the truth and protect someone, only to remain trapped in confusion. That sense of bewilderment mirrors what mental health professionals often see when working with Munchausen’s: nothing about the behavior makes straightforward sense, even to those closest to it.

The documentary highlights how:

• Trust can be built and shattered in shocking, manipulative ways.
• Even the most intelligent, well-meaning people can be deceived by someone in pain.
• The fallout is devastating, and healing is never quick or simple.
• Perpetrators often don’t fully understand their own behavior or motives.

Why a Therapist’s Take Matters After Watching "Unknown Number"

What lingers after this documentary isn’t just the shock—it’s the haunting question: why would a mother harm her own daughter so viciously? Understanding that kind of cruelty, especially when it’s wrapped in manipulation and lies, requires more than headlines or outrage.

This is where a therapist’s perspective matters:

• We look beyond the behavior to understand the pain and disorder driving it.
• We know the impact spreads far beyond the immediate victim—to families, friends, and entire communities.
• Therapy creates a space where both accountability and healing can begin, even in the aftermath of unimaginable harm.

Cases like "Unknown Number" are extreme, but they expose real patterns that play out in quieter ways across homes, schools, and online spaces. Bringing compassion, clarity, and professional insight to these stories helps us not excuse the harm—but better understand it, and support those who must live with its aftermath.

What Is Munchausen's and How Does It Show Up Online?

Many people have heard the term “Munchausen’s” but aren’t sure what it really means—especially after watching a documentary like "Unknown Number." At its core, Munchausen’s (now clinically called Factitious Disorder) is a mental health condition where someone fabricates or induces illnesses, crises, or harm to gain attention, sympathy, or a sense of importance. When it involves causing or exaggerating symptoms in another person, it’s known as Munchausen’s by Proxy (or Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another).

In "Unknown Number," the disturbing twist is how this played out: a mother not only attacked her daughter through manipulative texts—causing severe emotional harm—but also stepped in as the “rescuer.” She positioned herself alongside family, school staff, and even police, helping them search for the culprit she herself had invented. This cycle of creating harm and then stepping in to provide comfort or solutions is a hallmark of Munchausen’s by Proxy.

With social media, group chats, and texting, these patterns now extend far beyond the private spaces of families or hospitals. The reach is wider, the lies spread faster, and the fallout can fracture entire communities. Online, Munchausen’s doesn’t just impact the immediate victim—it ripples outward, ensnaring peers, families, and institutions in a web of confusion and betrayal.

How These Patterns Appear Online

The digital world creates fertile ground for this disorder to take hold. What might once have stayed hidden inside a home or a hospital room can now be broadcast to hundreds—or even thousands—of people. Posts, texts, and images are designed to look urgent and convincing, which makes them hard to question without feeling cold or uncaring.

Some of the most common ways it shows up online include:

• Dramatic health updates on social media, drawing streams of sympathy and shares.
• Multiple or fake accounts that interact with each other to reinforce the story.
• Borrowed or fabricated medical stories shared in online support groups.
• Pulling in family and friends through group texts or DMs that make the crisis feel immediate.
• Staged photos and props like hospital bracelets, IV poles, or altered medical documents.

These patterns highlight just how easy it is for people to get swept up in a narrative that feels real. The speed and reach of digital platforms amplify the harm, leaving victims—and entire communities—struggling to separate truth from fiction.

"Unknown Number" portrays a different version of Munchausen’s by Proxy. In the documentary, the mother herself created the crisis by targeting her daughter through manipulative and abusive texts. The trauma she inflicted—pressuring her to harm herself and controlling the narrative—was the health crisis. Unlike the staged illnesses or borrowed stories often seen online, the deception in this case was rooted in direct emotional abuse that left lasting scars.

Why Are These Behaviors So Hard to Spot?

One of the most unsettling aspects of "Unknown Number" is how invisible the truth was. The mother wasn’t just behind the abusive texts—she also appeared to be part of the solution. She comforted her daughter, supported her daughter’s boyfriend, coordinated with his mother, and even worked alongside the school and police to “help” uncover who was responsible. No one thought to look at her, because who would suspect the mother? Her role as rescuer disguised her role as perpetrator, making the abuse almost impossible to trace.

Online and offline, spotting Munchausen’s behaviors can be incredibly difficult. Therapist offices hear this confusion every day: “She seemed totally real,” or “Why did I fall for it?” The mix of trust, emotional storytelling, and hidden motives creates a perfect storm.

Some reasons these behaviors are so hard to detect include:

• Trust in roles: Parents, caregivers, and helpers aren’t the people we usually suspect.
• Distance online: You can’t verify details like you could in person.
• Emotional stories blur logic: Urgent pleas spark fast reactions.
• Shifting identities: Fake accounts and new names can keep the lie alive.
• Fear of being wrong: Challenging someone’s story feels cruel if it turns out to be true.

Real-World Harm From Hidden Munchausen’s

When deception like this comes to light, the fallout is devastating. It doesn’t stop at one fabricated story—the ripple effects reach everyone who trusted, helped, or cared.

• Emotional drain: Friends and family exhaust themselves supporting a crisis.
• Broken trust: Future cries for help may be met with doubt, even when they’re real.
• Secondary trauma: Those who were manipulated can feel betrayed, anxious, and deeply shaken.

Munchausen’s—whether acted out online or hidden in relationships—is far from “victimless.” The pain it causes is real, lasting, and wide-ranging. Recognizing how hard it is to spot these patterns is the first step in bringing compassion, clarity, and healing to everyone involved.

Trauma and Triggers: Why Do People Develop These Behaviors?

Stories like "Unknown Number" leave many people asking the same haunting question: why would a mother create such cruel harm for her own daughter? Behaviors like these don’t appear out of nowhere. They often grow from a mix of deep emotional wounds and learned patterns of coping that twist into destructive habits over time.

In the case shown in the documentary, the mother inflicted trauma directly—bombarding her daughter with abusive texts that created a constant state of fear, crisis, and instability. Then she stepped into the role of rescuer, helping her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and even the police navigate the very chaos she had caused. This cycle of harm and rescue reflects what therapists recognize as Munchausen’s by Proxy: the manipulation of another person’s health or safety in order to meet the perpetrator’s own emotional needs.

The Role of Trauma in Shaping Behavior

Trauma is a powerful force in mental health. It can follow someone after experiences of abuse, neglect, loss, or chronic stress. These events shape how people see themselves and the world, leaving behind wounds that often show up as self-doubt, fear, or a desperate need for validation.

For some, pretending to be sick—or in this case, creating a crisis for someone else—brings an outpouring of care and attention that they may have been missing for years. While the behavior causes enormous harm, the drive behind it is often rooted in survival: a learned way of coping with emptiness, instability, or invisibility.

Key ways trauma can fuel these patterns:

• Missing emotional support as a child – Growing up without steady love or care can create a deep sense of invisibility.
• Patterns learned from others – If illness or crisis was used in the family to get love or avoid conflict, those patterns can carry forward.
• Chronic stress or neglect – Living in constant chaos shapes the brain to expect crisis, making calm or stability feel foreign.

Common Triggers That Spark These Behaviors

Triggers are reminders—moments, feelings, or situations—that reopen old wounds. They act like emotional landmines, pushing a person back into unhealthy habits when touched. For someone struggling with Munchausen’s, a trigger might mean inventing a new crisis, exaggerating a story, or reaching for sympathy in ways that recreate familiar cycles of attention.

Some common triggers include:

• Feeling ignored or left out – Even small drops in attention can feel unbearable.
• Shifts in support systems – A parent busy with work, a friend moving away, or less engagement online.
• Stressful events – Breakups, arguments, or even positive milestones like a graduation can trigger the need for reassurance.
• Exposure to others’ illness or trauma – Hearing someone else’s story may spark comparison and a compulsion to pull focus back.

In "Unknown Number," the mother’s own unresolved pain seemed to drive a cycle of control, harm, and “rescue.” Her behavior wasn’t random—it was fueled by deeper wounds, even if she may not have understood them herself. Unfortunately, the people around her—especially her daughter—paid the price.

Therapist’s Note: Understanding the roots of these behaviors doesn’t excuse the harm they cause. But it does offer clarity. By recognizing how trauma shapes unhealthy coping, families, communities, and professionals can better respond—not just with accountability, but with pathways toward healing.

Why Don’t These Patterns Break on Their Own?

Once someone discovers that being in crisis brings connection, it can feel impossible to let go. The brain learns quickly: attention equals safety. Even when the behavior causes pain for others, the comfort of being noticed and cared for in the moment can outweigh the long-term damage.

In "Unknown Number," this cycle was clear. The mother created harm through abusive texts, then stepped in as the helper. Each time her daughter or others leaned on her for support, the role of rescuer was reinforced. The crisis gave her a chance to feel needed, and the response from family, school, and even police strengthened the pattern.

Breaking these behaviors is tough because:

• Attention feels like protection – When care only shows up during emergencies, the mind ties drama to safety.
• Healing requires honesty and trust – Naming the pain beneath the behavior can feel terrifying, especially when shame is already present.
• Every new crisis is another opportunity – Each time a fresh situation arises, stepping in as the “savior” reinforces the role and keeps the cycle alive.

Key takeaway: Patterns like those shown in "Unknown Number" don’t vanish on their own. They’re maintained by the immediate relief and recognition that crisis provides. Understanding this helps us see the behavior not as random cruelty, but as a deeply unhealthy survival strategy—one that requires compassion, firm boundaries, and professional help to untangle.

Person Behind the Screen: Responsibility Without Excusing Harm

When the credits roll on "Unknown Number," many viewers are left with the same uneasy question: how do you hold someone accountable when their behavior comes from such deep pain? The documentary strips away the mystery to reveal the mother behind the messages. She wasn’t a faceless stranger online—she was a parent making conscious choices, choices that inflicted lasting trauma on her own daughter.

Therapists see this paradox often. A person may be carrying old wounds, unmet needs, or unresolved trauma. Those struggles are real—but so is the damage their actions cause. Both truths can exist at the same time.

Seeing the Human and the Harm

It’s tempting to focus only on the shocking behaviors—the lies, the manipulation, the crises—and forget there’s a human being behind them. But stopping at outrage alone doesn’t help anyone heal. Therapists take a “both/and” approach:

• Both the individual is struggling with unmet emotional needs, trauma, or unhealthy survival strategies.
• And the choices they make cause very real harm to others.

In "Unknown Number," this dual reality is stark. The mother inflicted devastating emotional harm on her daughter, while also stepping in as comforter and rescuer. Recognizing her pain doesn’t excuse her cruelty—but it does explain why the cycle can be so hard to break.

Holding space for both truths allows empathy without erasing accountability. It means seeing the person behind the screen while also naming the betrayal, the fallout, and the responsibility for the harm that was done.

Why Empathy Matters, Even When It Hurts

Empathy is not the same as excusing bad behavior. Feeling where someone else comes from gives us a clear-eyed view into their choices. When a person fakes illness online, they may be trapped in their own hurt, not just trying to fool or hurt others. 

By understanding their struggle:

• Friends and family can set better boundaries without guilt
• Healing becomes possible for everyone, not just the person with Munchausen’s
• Empathy helps us step back, take a breath, and respond wisely, not just react in anger or judgment.

 

Honest Accountability: Finding a Healthy Balance

Responsibility means facing the real-life results of your choices. For someone involved in online Munchausen’s , this could look like:

• Admitting the full truth, even when it’s uncomfortable
• Listening to the pain of friends, family, and others who were hurt
• Sticking with therapy or support groups when things get tough

This honesty does not erase the past, but it starts to rebuild trust. Being held to account is not a punishment—it’s the start of real recovery.

When Explanations Turn Into Excuses

There’s a line between explaining a behavior and letting someone off the hook. Therapists work hard to help people—and their loved ones—see the difference. 

• It’s okay to talk about mental health, trauma, or past hurt.
• It’s not okay to use these as shields to avoid change or ignore harm done to others.

Red flag examples:

• Avoiding responsibility: “I can’t help it, it’s just my trauma.”
  • Healthier shift: “My trauma affects me, but I need to do the work to change.”
• Blaming others: “If people cared more, I wouldn’t do this.”
  • Healthier shift: “I need to find new, healthier ways to seek support.”
• Denying harm: “No one’s really hurt—it’s only online.”
  • Healthier shift: “People online deserve respect and honesty, too.”

Explanations create space for understanding; excuses block growth. True healing comes when truth and compassion work together.

The Ripple Effect of Online Actions

One of the most haunting takeaways from "Unknown Number" is how far the damage spread. The mother’s abusive texts didn’t just devastate her daughter—they rippled outward to touch her daughter’s boyfriend, his family, classmates, school staff, and even the police. Because she appeared to be part of the solution, no one suspected her, and the web of lies only grew.

This is the nature of deception online: what feels like “just messages” or “only the internet” can upend entire communities. The fallout lingers long after the last text is sent.Trust is shaken, communities are scarred, and support systems are fractured. The documentary makes it clear: online actions carry real-life weight. Repairing the damage takes accountability and honesty, step by step.

After the Truth: What Families Face When the Harm Is Exposed

In "Unknown Number," the story didn’t end with boundaries—it ended in a courtroom. Once the truth came out, the mother went to jail. That outcome makes the fallout very different for the daughter, her family, and the community. Instead of learning how to manage ongoing crises, they were left to process betrayal, rebuild trust, and live with the knowledge that the harm had come from the very person meant to protect.

For survivors, this kind of trauma leaves lasting marks:

• Betrayal trauma: Wondering how someone so close could inflict so much damage.
• Loss of trust: Questioning their ability to rely on others in the future.
• Community shock: Schools, peers, and families reeling from being pulled into a false crisis.

Recovery in the Wake of Betrayal

When accountability happens through the legal system, the emotional healing is just beginning. Therapy and community support become vital for survivors to:

• Rebuild a sense of safety in relationships.
• Separate their own identity and worth from the harm they endured.
• Process anger, grief, and confusion in ways that allow them to move forward.

Sometimes healing means setting clear boundaries. But in situations like this one, boundaries with the person who caused the harm are complicated. In "Unknown Number," the daughter continues to have communication with her mother, even though she cannot see her in person. That kind of ongoing contact can create a mix of emotions—loyalty, confusion, anger, and love—making healing far from straightforward.

In these circumstances, recovery isn’t about cutting ties completely, nor about blindly maintaining the relationship. It’s about learning to reclaim trust in yourself, deciding what level of contact feels safe, and building new patterns of connection with people who can meet your needs in healthy and consistent ways. Healing grows stronger when survivors feel supported in making those choices at their own pace.

Healing and Hope: Steps Toward Recovery and Support

As "Unknown Number" makes painfully clear, there’s no quick or easy fix after betrayal of this magnitude. Trust doesn’t simply bounce back, and the scars don’t disappear once the truth comes out. Still, recovery is possible—though it looks different for every survivor and every family.

Sometimes healing means setting firm boundaries and carefully managing what kind of contact is safe. Other times, it means cutting ties completely, especially if the person responsible shows no signs of taking responsibility or working toward change. In some cases, like the daughter in the documentary, there may still be limited communication, even when physical contact isn’t possible. The difference often comes down to whether the person who caused harm is also actively doing their own healing work—or if they remain unsafe and unchanged.

No matter the form it takes, recovery for survivors is about more than just “moving on.” It’s about:

• Reclaiming trust in yourself after being deceived.
• Restoring safety and stability in daily life.
• Building healthy new connections that provide real support and care.
• Allowing space for grief and anger without letting them define your future.

Healing in these circumstances isn’t linear. There will be setbacks and painful reminders. But every honest conversation, every boundary honored, and every step toward rebuilding trust is part of the path forward.

Even when the relationship with the person responsible is permanently broken—or forever complicated—the work of healing is about restoring what was lost: safety, connection, and the belief that life can be lived with honesty and hope.

Encouraging Hope, Not Perfection

Therapy teaches us that healing isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Each honest conversation, each boundary that’s respected, and each small step toward trust matters, even when the path feels uneven. Hope doesn’t arrive all at once; it grows gradually, one choice at a time.

If you or someone you love is recovering from betrayal, manipulation, or the kind of trauma shown in "Unknown Number," know this: healing is possible. It may look different for every person, but with the right support and honesty, lasting change can happen.

Lessons From "Unknown Number"

This documentary reveals some of the hardest truths about human behavior: that mental health struggles can hide in plain sight, and that harm can come from the very people we expect to protect us. The ripple effects touch more than one individual—they spread through families, friendships, schools, and communities.

Yet, in shining a light on this darkness, "Unknown Number" also reminds us of what matters most:

• Trust, once broken, can be rebuilt slowly through honesty and support.
• Compassion helps survivors reclaim their strength without minimizing their pain.
• Boundaries are essential for protecting everyone involved.

Real recovery begins when we face painful truths with courage, not shame. Each story of healing breaks part of the cycle and creates space for something healthier to grow. Thank you for taking the time to engage with these difficult but important issues. If "Unknown Number" left you shaken, angry, or full of questions, you’re not alone. These reactions are part of the process of grappling with hard realities.

At RAFT Counseling, we walk alongside individuals and families navigating the aftermath of betrayal, trauma, and painful relationship dynamics. Our therapists provide compassionate, nonjudgmental support to help you rebuild trust in yourself and others, set boundaries that protect your wellbeing, and move toward healing at your own pace. If this story resonates with you, or if you’re carrying similar feelings, we invite you to reach out. You don’t have to process it alone—support is here when you’re ready.