Realistic Self-Care: Finding a Balance between Responsibilities and Self-Care in a Hectic World

We live in a world and at a time where there is an overabundance of information and ideas while simultaneously a distance from it all that can make things like self-care seem both simple and quick but also unobtainable at the same time. It seems we are in desperate need of space to slow down and reorient ourselves to the impacts that different areas of our lives have on us and reevaluate our needs within that experience. Below we will take a look at self-care in a light that hopefully encourages you to consider creative ways you can care for yourself while honoring the challenges that contemporary life brings. We can all find ways to balance our lives better and having a self-care plan that is compassionate and balanced rather than perfectionistic or achievement based is a great step towards maintaining our overall wellness. 

The Basics of Self Care

Self care means more than giving ourselves ‘little treats’ every now and again to keep our heads above water just enough to keep from drowning. At the same time it is also not a wide net to cast that allows us the freedom to disregard responsibilities or tasks we should be doing. Caring for ourselves is an intentional choice in day to day moments that protect us by moderating the amount of engagement in any outlet either positive or negative. It also does not stay the same throughout our lives. The areas of self care we choose to focus on or activities we choose to engage with will adapt and evolve throughout our lives as we gain new experiences, find new opportunities, and face new challenges.

The Wellness Model

Based on this definition, self care can include a wide variety of activities, themes, and utilities to achieve wellness. Wellness is the term we use to describe the holistic necessities of any person in the pursuit of health. The categories that comprise wellness include physical, emotional, social, intellectual, occupational, spiritual, environmental, and financial. Though there have been many models presented and refined through sociological and psychological research over the years; these categories are broadly seen as the most robust and useful when approaching the subject of self care. Furthermore, our own wellness model can include more dimensions based on factors that are important to us. Nonetheless, starting with these categories provides a great base from which to build a well rounded routine. 

What Does Self-Care Look Like? 

Given the virtually endless options to engage in self-care it would be inefficient to list them all. Rather, we will review a few common ideas and from there it is encouraged to build your own using a wheel chart similar to the one above. You can write in what things in each area that would help you feel healthier or more aligned with your needs or would support a balance between each in your daily life. For example, if one category is nearly empty, maybe that is a marker showing that you need more support in that area. 

Emotional - If you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any emotional distress, why not try mindfulness meditation, art, or journaling to quiet the mind and begin rewiring it towards resilience and acceptance. 

Occupational - Consider the impacts of your work. If you have the means, look at options for moving towards a position or career that aligns with your own values and provides a sense of purpose. If that is not possible, consider what ways you can incorporate choices that provide a sense of satisfaction and purpose to even the smallest decisions at work? 

Intellectual - Engage in an activity that challenges your brain. Read an interesting book or learn a new skill that excites you or provides a sense of pride. On the flip side, if you have had a mentally taxing day, consider doing something that helps quiet those parts of your brain (i.e. an easy or repetitive task like coloring or a zen garden).

Environmental - If you have sat in a small, grey, and bright but somehow also dim cubicle all day; take a walk, get fresh air, feel the breeze. Challenge the sense of “stuckness”. Also be safe and use sunscreen if outside for extended periods of time. Remember: self-care is balance.

Financial - Do you feel insecure and stressed about finances? Take charge and make a budget to increase trust and confidence in yourself. If you find yourself unable to feel financially free even though you are financially secure; challenge yourself to spending a safe amount on a nice something for yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor. 

Social - Simply spend time with people that make you feel better than you otherwise would - or don’t. Take time to understand if you need some alone time to recharge and be okay with saying no to people if they ask you to socialize.

Physical - Get activity however you like into at least some small part of your daily routine. This will look different for every person but movement in nearly every form has been proven to be beneficial to so many aspects of daily life that it is a necessity to prioritize. Again, so too is balance. If you have aches and pains that don’t go away or you feel sick. Allow yourself to rest or see a professional who can give you support. 

Spiritual - Whether it is faith-based religion or contemplating the cosmos in your own way, we all have a pull towards purpose in some form. Engaging in activities that provide us with a sense of purpose is imperative for maintaining wellness in an ever-changing social, political, environmental, economic, (etc.) landscape.

Limitations of Self-Care

Caring for yourself can be like stretching. It is necessary to maintain a healthy body state and overtime, if neglected, becomes a burden on all other areas of wellness. However, if you have a broken leg you cannot just stretch it out. Knowing when you are at your limit and these self-directed self-care activities/objects are not going to be enough is important too. Part of self-care is being compassionate towards your own limitations and having healthy expectations about when to seek help. There is no one piece of advice that everyone can live by to know when that limit is reached. However, if you are having difficulties managing daily responsibilities and/or symptoms have persisted for more than 2 weeks then it is generally advised to seek out support from a professional.

Finding Realistic Self-Care Balance for You

Self-care is not a singular objective. It is a lifestyle that changes and evolves over time with us as we ourselves move through our lives. It is a responsibility we have towards ourselves to make choices that keep us in balance with all aspects of life wherever and whenever possible. It is not a single choice to take a deep breath, but an active way of being that is realistic and compassionate towards our current circumstances. Making a routine that fits us can take time and effort but is an investment that always pays off as it prevents mental, emotional, and physical burnout. 

At RAFT Counseling, we want you to have all the tools and support to create a self-care routine that works for you while also being there if it is not enough. If you or a loved one needs that support simply visit our website or contact us to get connected with our team to help you on your mental health journey.

Sources for Further Consideration

• Eight dimensions of wellness. (2025, June 9). Student Health and Counseling Services. https://shcs.ucdavis.edu/health-and-wellness/eight-dimensions-wellness
• AlNujaidi, H. Y., Al-Rayes, S. A., & Alumran, A. (2025). The Evolution of Wellness Models: Implications for Women's Health and Well-Being. International journal of women's health, 17, 597–613. https://doi.org/10.2147/IJWH.S498027
• Your Healthiest Self: wellness Toolkits. (2025, January 21). National Institutes of Health (NIH). https://www.nih.gov/health-information/your-healthiest-self-wellness-toolkits
• Caring for your mental health. (n.d.). National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health