The #1 Worst Habit for Anxiety: Trying to Get Rid of It Right Now

It’s 1:00 a.m. and you’re doing that thing again. Replaying a conversation, scrolling for answers, checking a symptom, rewriting the same text in your head. Your body is tired from lack of sleep, but your mind keeps tapping you on the shoulder like, “Hey, we’re not safe yet.”

If you live with an anxiety disorder, you’re not weak, broken, or dramatic. Anxiety isn’t a character flaw. It’s a nervous system response that’s trying to protect you, even when it’s misfiring. The hard part is that some of the things we do to feel better fast can quietly teach the brain to stay scared.

This article gives a clear answer to the question, what’s the worst habit for anxiety, and a practical replacement you can practice right away. If you want support, anxiety therapy can help you make these changes to your daily habits with guidance, not pressure, for better mental well-being.

The #1 worst habit for anxiety is trying to get rid of it right now

The worst habit for anxiety is any pattern built around one urgent goal: make this feeling stop immediately.

That can look like procrastination and avoidance (not going, not doing, not saying, not starting). It can also look like control behaviors (checking, planning, researching, fixing, asking, re-checking). The common thread is the intention: the behavior is mainly there to erase anxiety in the moment.

Why is that “the worst”? Because it teaches your brain a dangerous lesson: anxiety means something is wrong, and you can’t handle it. Your internal alarm system becomes more sensitive, not less.

Think of anxiety like a smoke alarm that’s gone off while you’re making toast. If every time it beeps with physical symptoms of anxiety you sprint out of the house, your brain starts treating “toast smell” like a five-alarm fire. You don’t get more confident, you get more careful.

A simple example: you have a panic attack in a store. Next time, you avoid that store to stay safe. You feel relief, which makes sense. But then anxiety starts whispering, “What if it happens in the other store too?” Soon it’s the whole shopping area. Then it’s driving there. Then it’s leaving the house.

One important nuance: the same action can be helpful or unhelpful depending on the purpose. Resting at home because you’re sick is care. Staying home because you can’t tolerate anxiety is avoidance. The outside behavior may look identical, but the message to your brain is completely different.

How avoidance and “quick fixes” train your brain to stay on high alert

Your brain is a fast learner. When you do something that drops anxiety quickly, it tags that action as “important.” That’s not your fault. That’s how survival wiring works. These reactions happen fast, before the prefrontal cortex, the logical part of your brain, can intervene.

Here’s the loop in plain language, a classic example of habit loops fueled by trigger behavior reward and reward-based learning:

1. Anxiety spikes.
2. You do something to escape or neutralize it.
3. Anxiety drops for a moment.
4. Your brain learns, “Good call. Do that again next time.”

That “moment of relief” is powerful. It’s also the trap.

Common quick fixes often include reassurance seeking, checking, over-planning, staying busy nonstop, Googling symptoms, asking a partner to promise everything is okay, repeatedly reviewing decisions, and alcohol use or other substances to take the edge off. These can feel soothing short term, which is why they stick.

The problem is what happens next. The brain doesn’t learn, “I handled it.” It learns, “I survived because I escaped.” Over time, you need more reassurance, more checking, more control, and anxiety shows up faster.

If anxiety could talk, it would say, “Keep doing what you’re doing.” Because the cycle keeps it in charge.

The sneaky forms of avoidance people miss

Most people can spot obvious avoidance, like skipping a party or calling in sick to avoid a meeting. What’s harder to see is the inside stuff, the mental wrestling that looks like “coping” but acts like avoidance.

Internal avoidance can include trying to push thoughts away, engaging in negative self-talk, arguing with your mind, replaying memories to “solve” them, scanning your body for threats, or numbing out with constant scrolling. It’s a lot of effort aimed at one thing: not feeling what you feel.

Then there are safety behaviors, which are subtle because you still “show up,” just with conditions. You might carry “just in case” items, sit near exits, only go places with a certain person, keep your phone ready to escape, avoid eye contact, or speak less so you won’t be judged. Again, none of these make you bad. They’re understandable attempts to feel safe.

A quick self-check can reveal the intention:

• Am I doing this to live my life, or to feel zero anxiety?
• If I couldn’t do this safety step, would I still go?
• Is this helping me get braver over time, or more careful?

Anxiety doesn’t require you to stop living. It just tries to convince you that you should.

How to tell if a coping habit is helping or making anxiety worse

Some short-term soothing is normal. Deep breathing, taking a break, calling a friend, getting sleep; these are healthy daily habits. The issue is when soothing becomes the main plan and your life becomes organized around avoiding discomfort.

A coping habit is probably backfiring when:

• Relief lasts minutes, then the overthinking and worrying returns louder.
• The “rules” keep growing (more checking, more planning, more avoiding).
• Your world gets smaller, even if you’re busy all day.
• Confidence drops, and you trust yourself less.
• You need more reassurance than you did a month ago.

A useful way to look at it is this: helpful coping helps you return to your life. Unhelpful coping helps you run from your life and keeps your baseline stress levels high.

Here’s a simple comparison:

What it looks like	Helpful coping	Unhelpful coping
Goal	Support your nervous system so you can act	Make anxiety disappear before you act
Result over time	More confidence, fewer “rules”	More doubt, more “rules”
Examples	Take 3 slow breaths, then continue, ask for support once	Re-checking, repeated texts for reassurance, endless research
Feeling afterward	“I can handle this”	“I can’t handle this unless I do that”

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Well… I do some of those,” you’re in good company. Unhelpful coping often strengthens negative thought patterns on the cognitive side. The aim isn’t perfection. It’s noticing the pattern and shifting it gently.

A quick “cost test” you can use in real time

When anxiety hits, it’s hard to think clearly. A fast reality check can keep you from sliding into automatic habits. Try these three questions, even if you can only answer them in a sentence.

1. What am I afraid will happen?
   Name the fear plainly. “I’ll embarrass myself,” “I’ll faint,” “I’ll have a panic attack,” “I’ll get in trouble,” “Something is wrong with my health.”
2. What does this habit cost me later?
   Think time, sleep, relationships, work focus, money, freedom. Ask, “If I keep doing this for six months, what shrinks?”
3. What is one small brave step I can take instead?
   Not a huge leap. One step that’s uncomfortable but safe. “Stay in line for one more minute,” “Send the email without re-reading it ten times,” “Drive to the parking lot and sit for two minutes,” “Wait 10 minutes before asking for reassurance,” “Practice grounding techniques for two minutes.”

The goal isn’t to crush anxiety. It’s to stop paying for relief with your future.

A better replacement habit: practice feeling anxiety without obeying it

If trying to get rid of anxiety right now keeps the cycle going, what helps?

A better replacement habit is simple in concept and challenging in practice: notice anxiety, allow it to be there, and keep moving toward what matters.

This isn’t pretending anxiety feels good. It’s not forcing yourself into danger. It’s teaching your brain, through experience, to build emotional resilience by showing it that anxiety is not a directive for action. That learning is what lowers the alarm over time.

Many approaches in anxiety therapy use this same idea, even if the words differ. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helps you change patterns that feed anxiety through structured approaches like exposure work. ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) builds skills for making room for feelings while living your values. Exposure work helps you practice feared situations in a planned, steady way. The point is not to tough it out alone, it’s to build tolerance with support and structure.

Use the 3-step reset: notice, allow, choose

When anxiety spikes, your mind wants to sprint. This script slows the moment down just enough to break habit loops and give you a choice.

1) Notice.
Name what’s happening in your body and mind.
“My chest is tight.” “My thoughts are racing.” “I’m having the urge to escape.”

2) Allow.
Let it be present without arguing.
“This is anxiety.” “My body is sounding an alarm.” “I don’t have to fix this feeling.”

3) Choose.
Pick one next action that matches the life you want. This re-engages your prefrontal cortex, helping the rational brain take the wheel.
“I’ll stay in this conversation for 2 more minutes.” “I’ll keep driving to the next light.” “I’ll finish checking out.”

Pair this with a short mindfulness meditation practice to deepen the notice and allow steps, making them even more automatic over time.

A few real-life examples:

• Social anxiety: “My face feels hot.” “This is anxiety, not danger.” “I’m going to ask one question and listen.”
• Health anxiety: “I want to Google this.” “This urge is part of the cycle.” “I’ll wait 15 minutes, then do something grounding.”
• Driving anxiety: “My hands are sweaty.” “Anxiety can ride along.” “I’ll take the same route and keep my pace steady.”

At first, the win is not “I feel calm.” The win is I didn’t obey the anxious urge.

Start with “tiny exposures” that rebuild confidence fast

Exposure gets a bad reputation because people picture being thrown into the deep end. Real exposure work is more like strength training: small, planned reps that grow your capacity.

A “tiny exposure” should be:

• Safe (not reckless, not dangerous)
• Specific (clear start and finish)
• Repeatable (something you can practice often)

Examples that many people start with:

• Drive around the block once, then twice.
• Make one phone call you’ve been putting off.
• Stand in a store line for 60 seconds, then check out.
• Delay one reassurance text for 10 minutes.
• Sit in the meeting and speak once, even if your voice shakes.

Track wins in a simple way. Afterward, note: “What did I do?” and “What did I learn?” You’re collecting proof that anxiety rises, peaks, and falls, and that you can stay present. Repeat the same step until it feels more manageable, then increase the challenge a notch.

Progress often looks like this: the anxiety still shows up, but it stops running the schedule.

When to reach out for help and how therapy can support you

Self-help strategies can take you far, but some anxiety needs more support, especially when physiological factors like caffeine consumption, skipping meals that affect blood sugar levels, or the gut-brain connection mimic or worsen symptoms. Habits such as excessive screen time, social media use that fuels comparison, and a sedentary lifestyle can also intensify anxiety and hinder recovery. Consider professional help if it starts taking over your sleep, work, school, relationships, or health.

Reach out if panic attacks are happening, if you’re avoiding more places over time, if you’re using alcohol or substances to cope, if intrusive thoughts feel scary or sticky, or if you’re feeling hopeless about change. You don’t have to wait until you hit a breaking point to get care.

A first therapy session is usually a mix of getting to know you and getting clear on what’s been happening. You can share as much or as little as you’re ready to share. A good therapist will ask about your goals, your stress levels, your lack of sleep, your history, and what you’ve already tried. Treatment should feel collaborative and paced, not rushed.

If you’re looking for support, RAFT Counseling offers in-person therapy in Parker, CO and online throughout Colorado. You can reach out here: Contact RAFT Counseling.

Conclusion

The worst habit for anxiety isn’t being anxious. It’s making anxiety the boss through avoidance and control, especially the urgent push to make the feeling stop right now. Overcoming this worst habit for anxiety calls for steady practice: notice anxiety, allow it, and take small brave steps anyway.

You don’t have to white-knuckle this alone. If you want support in Parker, CO or online across Colorado, connect here: https://raftconsulting.com/Contact. Your nervous system can learn a new pattern, and your life can get bigger again.